Yesterday, May 13, marked one year since my family had to put down our dog, Diesel.
Diesel was the best dog. He was calm, well-mannered, and the quintessential idea of what a dog should be. He was the first dog that we owned for a really long period of time. We got him from a friend of a friend in 2003. When we got Diesel, I already had Hercules, so Diesel was truly my sister's dog. But he was such a sweet boy, and we were both young, so he was also regarded as another family dog.
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Brian and Diesel, one the road, when my family moved to a new home in 2011 |
Our family had never had a dog put down before. We usually would re-home them when we were moving and couldn't have a pet, or when they truly were not a good fit for our family situation. But we have never been through the death of a pet as a family.
I remember so many of the details of that day. Only Daddy and I were home; Momma and my sister were still on their commute home from school.
Diesel's health had been declining for quite some time now. The vet told us months before his death that he had liver cancer, but was happy and not in any pain. His happy demeanor and his joyful trot did not change one bit. He was always bee-bopping around the house, happy to see you. But he was rail thin, barely eating, and having accidents all the time.
We had never really known just how old he was, but his nose and eyes had greyed rather rapidly over the last year.
On this day, Daddy and I noticed Diesel trying to drink water from his bowl in the kitchen but he couldn't stand up. He kept pushing his nose into the wall and sliding down it. It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen.
Daddy called our family vet to tell him the symptoms. He stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining room, and then left the dining room for solitude on the front porch. When he returned to the kitchen, his eyes were filled with tears and he took several deep breaths before he spoke. After his pause, he told me that the vet told him to bring him in, that his time was coming. He took Diesel in his arms, hugged him, and quietly cried.
Daddy called my momma and sister to have them meet him at the vet's office. I was getting ready to go to my second job, so I could not go with him. He left, with Diesel in his arms, through the garage door.
My dog, Hercules, Diesel's lifelong playmate and friend,
laid at the back door for days after that, whining and crying,
wondering why his friend never came back through the garage door.
It was just as hard to reconcile Diesel being gone as it was to see my little pup mourn the loss of his best friend. When he finally moved away from the door, he only moved to the living room, still keeping his eye on the the last place he saw Diesel.
Diesel lived a full, great life. He got to run on the beach and swim in the ocean, he got lots of wet food from my momma, and he slept in the bed with my sister most every night. But that doesn't make things easier, because I am a human and I am selfish. I miss him. We miss him.
Animal-human bonds are strong. Research has shown that the death of a companion animal can be equally as devastating as the loss of a human significant other.
Anyone who has lost a pet knows that the worst thing in the entire world that a person can say to to another who has just lost a pet is "Well it's just a dog", usually followed by "now you can get a new puppy!".
That's when you have to resist the urge to punch people right in the face.
Many people feel like the loss of a pet is not as worthy of acknowledgement as the death of a human. This can lead the person dealing with the loss to repress their sorrow and cause them to never fully grieve the loss of the pet. That's why it always still stings a little when you talk about losing your family pet.
Animals, especially dogs, are so unlike humans. They are constant companions. They are non-judgmental, great listeners, and always happy to see you. A dog does not care how many days you've been without showering, how sick you are with the flu, or how many episodes of your favorite show you watch on Netflix in one sitting. A dog loves unconditionally. A dog is always there for you when you need him or her the most.
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We still miss you every day, sweet boy. |
To close, here's a great story I'm sure you've all read before.
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Children always just "get it", don't they? |